Living With A Non-Twi-Guy: Through His Eyes

Living With A Non-Twi-Guy: Through His Eyes. This is an article written on Examiner, and I have observed that this is very similiar to how many guys might look at Twilight in a household of female-Twilight-obsessers. It made me giggle once or twice with the reality of the situation. Although at some point I despised the scrutiny, I admired his beautiful wording. Oh, ignore me, here's the article:

In case you just returned from a couple of years in Ted Kazynski's cabin, you know that Stephanie Meyer has written a sensationally
popular series of books about vampires and humans collectively called The
Twilight Saga. Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn have brought much
of American womanhood to a slowdown bordering on a meltdown, while most American
men have yet to figure out what is the deal. The mere mention of Edward brings a
dreamy look to the eyes of many a teenaged girl, sighs from grown women and
carefully enunciated grunts from older brothers. In case you are not aware, the
series is about a girl (Bella) falling in love with said vampire (Edward), kind
of a Peyton Place with fangs. They eventually marry and have a child (Book 4),
who, one might assume, is similar to a hybrid automobile: it runs on baby food
when things are slow, but goes for the jugular when things get moving too fast
(or maybe its just Gerber Strained Chum for your little Lugosi).
My beloved
wife along with an innumerable group of her lady friends are already planning to
see the midnight movie showing of the second movie to be made in the series, New
Moon. What kind of sense does it make to go see a vampire movie at midnight, for
crying out loud? My guess is that the local multiplex will be forced to turn
every available theater into a den of teeming, sweating, swooning femininity,
while Hannah Montana is relegated to the popularity of spin the bottle with a
geeky boy who has Swine Flu.
While on our anniversary trip in Vancouver,
British Columbia, earlier this year, we discovered filming of the love-struck
monster movie was then taking place. Oh. My. A gold rush has nothing, nothing on
a bunch of 13 year olds who think that we might get to take a picture of one of
the stars. Of course, Vancouver is a big place, so I never had to break out the
beating stick for some lipstick wearing, blood sucker in a long black cape (or
however these modern, would-be Draculas adorn themselves). I was relieved when
the Concierge at our hotel looked dumbstruck at the question my wife posed, "Do
you know where they are filming New Moon?" To his blank expression, I merely
said, "Uhm, you don't have a wife or a daughter, eh?"
Color this writer a
little confused, but really, isn't this just Dark Shadows for the iPod
generation?
My daughter read these 500+ page books so fast the ink was
flying off the pages as they were turned. These volumes are passed around like a
lone oxygen mask in a smoky building or the last piece of beef jerky among a
stranded hunting party.
Oh, yeah, there are also werewolves and there's a
lot of animosity and such between them and the the vampires. This is starting to
sound like Abbott and Costello Meet
Frankenstein without all the enduring
humor and legendary actors. So, while most of you fellows are trying to
determine what Brett Favre is going to do (speaking of your basic soap opera) or
whether Tim Tebow will win another Heisman, your wife and daughter are making
travel plans to Forks, WA. As for me, I'm going to look for a
mallet...

Source: Examiner

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